WASHINGTON — The National Weather Service announced Monday that “spite” has been added to its official list of precipitation types, following years of unexplained drizzle that appeared personally directed at people who had just washed their cars.
“We’ve long suspected certain rainfall events lacked meteorological justification,” said NWS meteorologist Dr. Helen Braswell at a briefing that felt unnecessarily damp. “This precipitation forms specifically when outdoor plans have already been confirmed in a group chat.”
According to the new guidance, spite typically measures between 0.01 and 0.03 inches — enough to ruin hair, not enough to cancel anything, which officials described as “the entire point.”
Forecasters will issue Spite Advisories when conditions favor low, cold, and emotionally targeted mist. Residents are advised to carry umbrellas, lower expectations, and avoid saying “at least it’s not raining” within earshot of the sky.
The service declined to comment on whether spite can escalate into full vengeance thunderstorms, noting only that “we’re monitoring several group chats closely.”
